You see, one of the major premises of the book is that every guy in regards to the women in his life, has a plan. When he comes up to you in a bar, he has a plan (usually it involves getting laid). When he asks you out on that first, second, or third date, there’s a plan involved. When he takes you home to meet mama, that’s part of a plan. Now that sounds all well and logical, but here’s my issue with it: most of the guys I know can barely plan what they’re going to wear tomorrow or what they’re doing Friday night, and you expect me to believe that they have a plan for every single woman they meet?
If the plan is simply, “get her into bed” I can believe that. Unless he’s gay, I assume that every man that approaches me in a bar wants to have sex with me. Not because I’m such hot stuff that every man in the world wants to sleep with me, but because I have the requisite parts to give them at least a halfway decent time. But, I find it hard to believe that one a second or third date that a man already has a plan in place, assuming that plan does not involve some Barry White and clothes coming off. And maybe that’s part of my problem with dating, why I’m not currently in a loving, stable relationship (it may also have something to do with why I’m skeptical of conspiracy theories). Maybe my disbelief has made me miss major signs that a guy is or isn’t right for me. I’ll have to consult my chorus of guy friends to see what they think.
What about you? Do you think every man has a plan, even beyond the “get sex” default? Or is that always the plan and it just involves different tactics? And when does the plan become, “make this woman my girlfriend/fiance/wife”? Does it ever, or does it just simply happen? So many questions!
xoxo
Cat
i think this is based on the maturity of the man.
But I tend to agree. Whether or not the plan is a good one or a bad one, or whether or not they want to admit it, I think they do all have a plan. And truly, I think women do too.
It’s finding the man that has the same plan that you have, that admits it, and that feels right that’s the goal.
xoxo
Interesting, I never thought about it being tied to maturity. And now that I think about it, maybe what I see as not having a plan is simply, “let me see how far I can take this”.
Yeah, I think so.
Some of the plans we refuse to admit may sound something like “My plan with this one is to get laid and see if I can get out with as little attachment and drama as possible.” or “My plan is to remain as uninvolved as I can, while still getting what I want out of this person.”
No. Those don’t sound good, and they sound even more horrible when admitted out loud, even to yourself. But sometimes, unfortunately, that IS the plan.
Then there are times when people meet each other, and things start to work, and the plan becomes “I want to see how happy I can make this person, and for how long I can do it.”
And perhaps, if we’re lucky, once in our lives, we will meet someone who’s plan is “I want to make this woman happy forever, I want to cherish her in this world and the next, I want to live my life with her, through the good, the bad, the ugly, and beautiful. I want to make a life with her I’ve only dreamed of, I want to build something with her that the world can be envious of, I want to have a love that will last through anything life, death, hell and highwater can through at us. I want to love this woman for as long as she’ll have me, and love her well enough that she’ll have me forever.”
…. And if we have the same plan for them- you’ll know it’s probably time to thank God or the universe or chance for finding each other.
xoxoxo