I don’t believe in fate. Not in the sense of an invisible path that you’re put on from birth and nothing changes about it…ever. It’s not that I don’t think the universe, or God, or whatever you’d like to call it, is capable of doing that. I just don’t think He/It would. What’s the point in letting us have free will if it’s not really going to matter? That’s why the only thing I’ve ever really taken to heart from the various palm and Tarot readers I’ve seen (because occasionally I do that, don’t judge me) is that they can only predict what will happen while you’re on that particular path. If you’re in a loving, stable relationship, it makes sense that they would predict you’ll marry that man. It’s not just telling you what you want to hear (although many times it is that), it’s telling you what’s likely to happen if you keep loving and supporting each other the way you are at that moment. If there’s already strife and tension though, well you may already be heading down a different path.
Why do I bring this up? Why now? I’m not really sure. Maybe it’s because I feel like at this point in my life, every day is in flux. Every day has the potential to put me on an entirely different path from where I was yesterday. Today, I have no intentions on looking for or starting a relationship with a man (or a woman, because I know someone was thinking it). Tomorrow may be entirely different. Today, I’m not entirely sure how I will make it to my career goals. Next week, the way might become so clear I couldn’t imagine how I didn’t see it before. Or I could change my mind entirely about where I’m going and how.
Things happen quickly in New York. There’s a reason why it’s called a New York minute, not a California or a Chicago minute. You see an apartment at 8, put a deposit down at 9 and move in the next day. You interview for a job on Monday, accept it on Friday, and become a full-fledged employee by the following Monday. Men are in and out of our lives in an evening while women can become best friends overnight. Anything can change at the flip of a coin, which is why fate doesn’t make much sense here. You may feel like you were meant to be here, there, with this person or that job, but I don’t believe it. All I believe in is right. That meant to be feeling is to me, “this is right”. This is the situation, the person, the place that slips on like a perfectly worn-in pair of jeans even though you’ve never seen them in your life. This is the life that molds to you like that perfect pair of shoes, as if you were the muse it was designed for.
It’s okay if you call that fate. It’s easy to believe that, when things are going right, you were guided there by a divine being sending you to the place meant just for you. But when things aren’t so good? When you’re not where you want to be, when the guy isn’t right, when everything feels like that too-tall pair of heels that pinch your toes and rub your heels raw, is that meant to be too? Maybe…if you really believe in fate, you’ll believe that this moment was meant to teach you lessons you wouldn’t learn otherwise. I prefer to believe that it’s simply a matter of wandering down the wrong path. Because if it was my fault (deliberately or accidentally) then I also have the power to fix it. I have the power to get myself out of the swamp that pulls me down when I would rather be climbing. You can have your fate, if it’s what comforts you. Me, I believe the universe gave me everything I need to climb mountains or wallow in valleys. The path has many branches and I’m the only one who can decide which one to take.