Gather any group of single women together, especially in NYC, and especially over drinks, and inevitably the conversation will turn to love. This one is ticked about something her boyfriend did or didn’t do. That one had a ridiculously awful date that she has to talk about otherwise she’ll scream. And there’s always one who’s just so over it all. Call her the Miranda of the group if you will. If Charlotte’s the one who always believes in love no matter how bad dating gets, Miranda is the one who doesn’t really see the point anymore. Sure, Samantha is often there with her, but at Sam still sees the point of men although she laughs in the face of love. But Miranda is the one who occasionally says sayonara to the whole dating thing and decides that her Rabbit is much better company anyway. She’s the one who doesn’t even bother to complain that love sucks because she’s already gotten to point where it’s easier to say, “Love? What’s the point?”
So when I found myself listening to another love dilemma from one of my fabulous deserves-so-much-better girlfriends, and thought, “she should just be single”, I had to stop myself. Yes, single is fun. Single can be wonderful and fulfilling and great for getting to know yourself. But when did I start thinking single was superior? When did I become a commitment-phobe who refused to be involved with a man for longer than a night? And most importantly, when did I forget the good parts about love? I mean there are still good parts right? It can’t just be gripes about who’s flirting with whom, snipping over how you spend your time as a couple, or trying to work around awkward sex situations. There has to be a reason why we still look for it, and it can’t be because of romantic comedies otherwise people wouldn’t stick with it.
I went through a similar anti-relationship stage in my first year of college, after breaking up with my high school boyfriend. It was much more understandable back then though. For one thing, he was a horrible boyfriend. We’re talking luck-I’m-not-in-therapy bad. Plus, I’d just entered this whole new world of college where you were expected to explore and bounce from guy to guy. But I didn’t throw myself into it so thoroughly. I never found myself wondering what the point was. Though I was scared, I was never cynical…until now.
Let’s be honest here. I don’t want to be “who needs love” girl. Because I’m sure if I gave it a long look and a deep dig, I would rediscover the part of me that really does want love. I’m just having a bit of a hard time remembering why right now.